Pictures from Indiana

Me with my Aunt Pam who so graciously took me to the NASCAR Brickyard 400 race in Indianapolis this past weekend. It was great!! And a real sacrifice for her b/c it is about a 4 hour race and she was there just for me!












Had to put on one shot of the race track and the cars. Nothing quite like the roar of 43 stock cars:)











Me with my dear friend/sister, Cindy. We grew up just one house apart in Liberia and most of my days were spent at her house with Cindy and her sisters. We had a great talk and took a nice walk down a peaceful country road with the sunsetting on the corn fields. Just beautiful. She'll be embarrassed that I wrote this but she is a real example to me of a godly woman and I know she gives God all the credit for that.








Uncle Alton and Aunt Helen Buck. These are Cindy's parents who are very dear to me. We sat and talked for a long time about living in Africa (they were in Liberia for about 20 years I think), re-entry to the states and trusting God. It was an incredibly encouraging and enjoyable time.

How does it feel to be home?

The most frequently asked question I am getting these days is "how does it feel to be home?" followed by "do you know what you will be doing yet?" These are seemingly easy questions on the surface but I find myself fumbling for an answer every time - especially to the first one. How does it feel to be home? Honestly it feels strange. A friend told me that living overseas (for whatever reason) ruins you. I am seeing that that is true. While Ghana never felt entirely like home, being "home" in the US doesn't feel like home either. I remember very well going through this same thing when we returned from seven years in Liberia in 1980. It is challenging to come back and live where you are supposed to be at "home" but it doesn't really feel like home. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying many things - seeing family and friends, eating at favorite restaurants, driving on good roads and looking at amazing scenery, drinking from the faucet, electricity all the time, an amazingly fast internet, etc. etc. - but deep down I feel disconnected. I feel like I am standing on slippery sand and haven't quite got my feet under me yet. I am in limbo. Maybe that is the problem more than anything else. It seems at this moment that pretty much everything in my life is up in the air. While on one hand that brings a surge of excitement at all the possibilities, it seems that most mornings I wake up with my mind racing and feeling a slight panic that nothing is nailed down. Ah the joys of major transition and the unknown.

I started this post about a week ago and am adding to it just tonight (7/22). I was out-of-town so I haven't written in awhile. The above is still true although I am feeling more "steady" than I was when I originally wrote that. Nope, nothing has really changed - except my focus. While at my friend's house in NC this past weekend I spent a lot of time talking with her about trust in God - for the now and the future. My focus had been on me, my circumstances, my feelings, etc. Not that these things don't matter to some degree but when they are the focus for me, fear and doubt and worry are not far behind. I actually have friends on both sides of the Atlantic reminding me to keep my focus on the Lord and His amazing love for me. He holds my future in His completely capable and trustworthy hands. That is where my focus belongs and that is what I am focusing on:) It is a daily battle - sometimes a minute by minute battle- to be still and let the Lord do what only He can do and leave the future to Him. I am so thankful for His love and power. And grateful to the Lord for people who care and keep me pointed in the right direction.

My friend, Jan

So does everybody have a friend in their life that is always getting in to trouble in some way? This past weekend I stayed in Charlotte with my dear friends, Jan and Bob. Why, you might ask, am I on my knees with my face planted on the floor? Good question. Jan dropped her necklace through a crack in the floor on the deck and there really wasn't a way to go under the deck and get it. At least not that she nor I were willing to do. So I took a hanger and fished it out. Of course while I am down here doing the "dirty" work, what is my dear, sweet friend doing? Laughing hysterically and yelling for her husband to go get the camera. It is ok. The last time we laughed like that it involved a porta-potty. I won't go into details:)




Me and Jan after rescuing the necklace. My face is still red from being face down on the floor.








While I was in Charlotte I also got to see Lee's parents and Michelle's parents at SIM as well as Uncle Dave and Aunt Mary Naff who lived next door to us at ELWA in Liberia and Aunt Helen Inman who was a teacher at ELWA. Additionally I got to spend a little time with Annie, my sister from Liberia. And finally at church on Sunday we ran into Dr. Norm and Barb Geisler who have been family friends since about when I was born. Of course I didn't have my camera with me for any of these encounters. Bummer. But it was great to be able to see so many friends and supporters at one time. Overall it was a fun and restful time.

Being an aunt

I really enjoy being an aunt. You know how it is...I get them all riled up and then leave and the parents have to put them to bed or whatever. Ah yes, very nice. Actually today I went up after service at my home church and met my brother Jeff and his wife Bev and the kids at their church. It was a little reunion of sorts at their church in Kenosha, WI b/c the pastor and his wife are a couple I knew from years ago at a different church. But the best part was the afternoon at Jeff and Bev's new house in Kenosha. It is really beautiful. The kids and I had a great time together. Emmett, the oldest, and Cullen, the youngest, were running around and wrestling. I was treated to a beauty salon experience by my niece Haven while Oliver bounced on my lap and snuggled with me. What could be better than having my hair played with and being snuggled by the cutest 4 year old I know? It was awesome. And they didn't want Aunt Suzanne to leave! What a nice welcome home.

Oh by the way, gas prices here are unbelievable. I am driving a small car that gets good gas mileage and it cost $40 to fill it up today. I almost passed out. $4.29 per gallon!!! And once again I must state that I had to pump it myself. For that price they should pump it and drive me home! I won't be racing up to Kenosha every other day that is for sure.

Sweet Home Chicago

Yesterday I had some business in Chicago so my mom and I took the train down. I really enjoy doing that. I used to do it weekly when I went to college down there. It is so much easier than driving and I can relax and look out the window, read or listen to music or in this case talk to my mom. Very nice. Chicago is a beautiful city - in the summer. In the winter it is pretty too but it is just plain cold then. It has the energy of a big city, with amazing architecture, flowers everywhere, the lake front, Navy Pier, cafes on the sidewalk, the Magnificent Mile, Lake Shore Drive...oh my I could just go on and on. I really like to go down and simply walk around with no specific time frame or destination in mind. I highly recommend you visit Chicago in the summer. There is so much going on! Below are a few pictures of the city and more on the photo link on the left bar.

Shot from Millennium Park in down town Chicago looking across Michigan Ave.

























I am standing at the bridge where Michigan Ave. crosses Wacker. Not far from the Wrigley Building - of yes - Wrigley Field and Wrigley gum.















Just strolling down Michigan Ave.






















The Chicago River from Adams St. You can see the Chicago Sun Times building straight ahead.
I took a boat on an architectural tour down this river. It was fascinating and I am not even into architecture that much.













Part of Millennium Park where they have concerts, restaurants, water splash in summer and skating in winter, street shows, art exhibits and much much more.

I am still laughing at the little "Ghanaian" things that I am doing - or almost doing - these days. Today in a restaurant I just barely stopped myself from making the "ssst" noise at the waiter in a restaurant. And I thought to myself, "well how do I get his attention"? Plus I keep forgetting that it is ok for me to give things to people with my left hand. In Ghana the proper thing to do is always use your right hand.

The one thing I am enjoying immensely is just driving around and looking at the country side and the nice suburban homes. Everything is so beautifully laid out and landscaped. There is one road that I love to drive down b/c as I come to the top of a small hill suddenly this farm rolls out in front of me. Lush green fields as far as the eye can see, with nicely cared for black fences outlining each field and pasture, horses gleaming in the sun and of course the stately home with the fancy gate and long driveway leading up to it. It is just beautiful and I can't seem to take in enough of the pretty landscapes here. I could just drive around all day looking at them if gas prices weren't so high. This is a huge difference from Ghana where most roads are lined with small crowded shacks, trash and mud. Although there are moments where I miss the adventure of driving down the road in front of my house there, at this time I am truly enjoying the beauty that is Lake County.

And I have almost stopped reaching for the stick shift and pushing the floor looking for the clutch. God did put an amazing ability to accommodate in us that is for sure.

Laughing at myself

I have found a couple of things over the last few days that I had completely forgotten about living in America. One thing is that little screen by the cash register where you slide your card and then sign on it. It actually took me a minute yesterday of staring at the thing to remember what to do. Today I realized, after driving the car for 3 days, that it has that little remote thing to lock and unlock the doors. I walked into the place I was going almost laughing out loud at myself b/c of my silliness. What would I forget if I was gone for 2 or 3 or 6 years?!! I am appalled to find out that I have to pump my own gas here. That is just wrong on so many levels! In Ghana you couldn't pump your own gas even if you wanted. And driving isn't nearly as boring here as I thought it might be but that is probably b/c I am flying down the nicely paved highways at a speed I am not supposed to be doing. I started curbing that today. I think driving a little bit slower and actually being able to see the scenery go by is much nicer. Just occasionally I have to drive like Jeff Gordon to get it out of my system.

Today I think I drove the guy behind the counter at Panda Express a tad crazy. He was in this mode of firing questions at people in line of what they wanted at a very rapid rate. So when I got up to the counter I deliberately answered slowly and took a few minutes to decide what I wanted. There was no one behind me but nonetheless I think it is a contest to see if they can get each person thru the line in record speed. Ah the clash of cultures. I have gotten used to sitting at a Ghanaian restaurant where it might take an hour or more to get your food. I just wanted to say to the guy "don't push me!" Those that know me well know I don't like to be pushed. Anyway, the orange chicken was very nice.

The trip back to the states

My trip started at about 5:15am on July 4th. Michelle and Eva took me to the airport where we said quick good-byes. At the Accra airport, no one is allowed in the terminals except ticketed passengers and if you take too long saying good-bye on the curb you run the risk of getting your car "booted". Not a fun thing. So we said good-bye and then I pushed my rather heavy cart over to the customs agent. He looked at me, looked at my bags and then put the chalk mark on them without opening anything. Over to the guy to weigh my bags who looked at me, looked at my bags and sent me through without weighing a thing. At this point I am thinking this is great, so much easier than I thought it would be. But then I get to the check-in counter where I have to lift each checked bag onto the conveyer belt to be tagged and then back onto my cart. I am not the strongest person in the world and I didn't appreciate having to lift those bags back and forth. But I am thinking ok I am checked in this is good. Until I am moved along in the line to where they check my bags. And by check I mean unpack and rifle through each and every bag! This is a surprise to me b/c I have left this airport twice without going through all that and then I realize that this plane flies straight to the US so the security standards are very high.  Finally I get to go with my carry-on to the lounge. Somehow through all the screening up there my carry-on is x-rayed and opened and rifled through 2x and I am given a "full body pat down" about 3-4 times. By this time they have me believing that I might be a drug dealer or security risk. Good grief!!! And of course at JFK everything is x-rayed and checked through again. Fortunately I managed to escape without being frisked again!

The flight from Accra to JFK was about 10.5 hours and seemed much longer than that. I wasn't in the best frame of mind, I had a headache and there were unsupervised children roaming the plane and trying to destroy the bathroom doors that were very close to my seat. Wow. I was not doing well. I couldn't sleep and they didn't have any movies for us b/c the machine was broken. This is not the best to start my return back home. While I wouldn't have minded a traveling companion for most of the trip, I realized upon arriving at JFK that I was very cranky and so it was probably best that I was alone:) Actually it was kind of nice to be in that busy airport with everyone absorbed in their own lives and flights so that I could just sit and recover and people watch in peace. It was a bit odd to not have my white skin stand out like a neon light and not be called "obroni". Sweet anonymity - at least for that time it was sweet. Even though I was on American soil, I didn't feel at home at all. But the desire to spend money sure rushed back with familiarity. That was a surprise. There is so much at my fingertips - almost anything and everything you could want. Fortunately I escaped with only buying a piece of not great NY style pizza. Can't wait for Chicago pizza!

A few things in the airport that surprised me - the availability of as many napkins as you want, getting change for a $20 without any hassles or someone having to hunt down the change, an ipod/phone charging station that was free and the abundance of clean bathrooms. My eyes were immediately drawn to Burger King and Starbucks. I noticed that there was no humidity at all and my hair had a bit of static in it. I was of course freezing as the central air was blasting away. And the JFK security and airport people were amazingly efficient and organized. They make things as streamlined and smooth as possible for people- and they were really nice and helpful. As I was sitting at my gate, I suddenly remembered that it was the fourth of July. No one in the airport seemed to notice or care.

The plane from Accra left on time and got me to JFK in plenty of time to catch my connector to Chicago. The plane to Chicago happened to be delayed for 2 hours so I had more than enough time. Generally speaking I don't mind sitting in airports unless I am completely exhausted. This time it was good. A chai tea latte from Starbucks was a good "pick me up" and so I could people watch to my heart's content. We finally leave for Chicago and I am able to sleep on this flight. PTL. Once we start our decent to O'Hare, my heart jumps and my adrenaline starts flowing. I am so excited I can hardly keep my seat. I actually am tearing up when I see the high rises and Navy Pier. Chicago is a great and beautiful city. Now I am feeling like I am home. We get to see lots of fireworks all over the city as we land. That was really neat. Somehow in the middle of all this wonderful stuff, I have a dull, vague feeling that part of me is missing and I left it in Ghana.

At O'Hare my fellow passengers and I find out that b/c the small plane we are on was overweight, a bunch of our bags were left behind in NY. I have 2 of my 3 and so must stand in line to fill out the forms to get the third one delivered to the house. By this time I have connected with my parents and that is really great. It is about 1am on Sat. when I finally get home. Basically a 24 hour travel period if you stick with one time zone. I am completely exhausted but somehow still wake up at 6:30am as I would have done in Ghana. Weird. 

My first impressions at the house were that I could drink water out of the faucet. Two days later I still have to remind myself that that is ok. I don't have to wait for the hot water heater to run for a hot shower. I put real cow's milk in my morning hot tea - and it ruins the taste:) And it is cold! My mom and I sit on the back porch where I am wrapped in two fleeces and holding a hot cup of tea. There doesn't appear to be any humidity in the air and I feel dry. Strange. But my mother's back yard is beautiful as always. She has a real gift with flowers and I had put up bird feeders for her a couple of years ago and it is all just wonderful. I can hear the call of my favorite little bird, the nuthatch, before I see it. I have missed sitting on this porch watching the birds flit around the feeders. I find it extremely relaxing.

The weather over the last two days has been perfect. Blue skies, 80 degrees and sunny. Really nice for watching a fourth of July parade (on the 6th) and being with family. My emotions seem to be all over the place and I am still recovering from jetlag. It is good to be home. It is also strange to be home. I actually feel like I am just visiting for a couple of months and then I will be gone. But to where I don't know at this point. It is just a feeling. Yesterday at church I surprised many people b/c only about 4-5 knew that I was coming home this past weekend. It was wonderful to see everyone and to be in my home church. There were moments when I missed the music of my church in Accra, especially during the offering time when they sing in Twi and we dance down to the baskets. But overall it was wonderful to be back and to be hugged by so many good friends and caring people.

I am sure I will have many more emotions to look at over the next days and weeks. Right now I am going to go have lunch with my best friend and enjoy it. :)

I am back home in the USA after about a 24 hour period of travel. As I am exhausted and overwhelmed at the minute, I will write more later.