So many of you have been asking how I am adjusting, how the house is doing and how my time at the beach went. Thank you for asking! Well here it is – the good, the bad and the ugly:)
When I went to the beach last week, I hardly expected to be wrestling with the issues and feelings of culture shock (or culture stress). I anticipated sitting on the beach alternating between reading a good book and watching the waves roll in. But God had other plans – for at least part of the trip. Going to the beach during rainy season has some really excellent points. One is that the prices are too good to believe and the other is that the volume of people is greatly reduced. On the other hand, the bad thing about going to the beach during rainy season is that...well...it rains. And so it did for about three days straight. Since there aren’t movie theaters, shopping malls, arcades, etc., etc. around to entertain guests while it rains, you either read or watch TV or play games. I did some of each, but mostly read. At the beginning of the trip, one of the ladies we met up with there gave me a book on culture shock. At first I set it aside and started in on a book by John Ortberg. But when the rains outside started and the sky was grey, my heart and mind followed in the depressing mood. So I decided to read about culture shock. It was a gift from the Lord. I didn’t realize until it took me about five days into the trip to truly unwind and for my jaw and neck muscles to relax that I was really suffering from culture stress. Of course I knew that I had some culture shock – just read about the driving and you will see. But I didn’t realize how much I was dealing with it. Culture stress is described as “the destabilizing influence of the radically new way of life in which the foreigner finds himself (herself). Culture stress varies in intensity, and the more exotic or different the (host) society and the deeper one’s involvement in its social life, the greater the stress. Culture stress strikes the one hardest who is settling in to a community to make it his (her) home for possibly a lifetime.” The last couple of weeks amid the joy and excitement of finding a house to rent and settle into was also the stress of finding a house to rent and settle into. When I left Chicago, I wasn’t thinking – “oh three years. No problem and then I will be home.” Rather I was alternating between thinking, “I am going to live in Ghana. How exciting. This is my life” and “I am going to live in Ghana. Dear Lord, this is my life!!” Whether excited or scared at the prospect, my intentions were and are to really live life here. Not just be on the fringes or live superficially, but to build relationships and set down roots. So you see, the very thing that I want to do is one of the things that is causing a major part of the stress. It’s not just the obvious things like the driving that are stressors but even more so that I function more like a child than an adult. See in the states I am an educated, fairly intelligent, competent person. I know how to drive, where to buy milk, how to make change and pay my bills. But in a new culture I am like a child that has to learn all these basic things and it tends to bruise the ego a bit and yes, cause stress. Then there are the inherent cultural things that you learn just by growing up in that culture. What is acceptable behavior and what isn’t and these things take much more time to learn (and truly can only be learned to a certain point). My expectations regarding the adjustment and my performance at this point are nowhere close to each other and this causes great internal stress. Is there a theme here?:) The culture stress is coming from many different directions. So what is my point and is there any good news? There is good news in that the God who sent me here to live and serve is the same God who will help me to do it if I rely on him. The danger is trying to do it in my own power and resources. The good news is that although culture stress can’t be eliminated, it can be minimized and God has given me a window into seeing this (through the book as well as the training I received in Colorado at MTI). The good news is that although living in a new culture is difficult and adjustment will take time, it won’t last forever. Eventually, I will find my way around without getting lost, I will learn where and when to pay my bills, I will learn how to keep the generator running, I will gain understanding of how to behave in different situations, and yes, I will be able to drive and cut off people with the best of them:) My point in sharing this is just that – sharing. This is part of the reality of living in a new culture and most of you have told me you want to know what is really going on. Thank you for your genuine interest in the reality of it all. But lest you think that God left me in the rain, dealing with these challenging issues let me assure you He didn’t. After the rain, the sun shines again and He brought three incredibly beautiful days of sunshine, blue skies, light breezes and a gorgeous ocean. I played tennis, read by the pool, read on the beach, went on boogie boards, hiked through small towns and tall trees, played boules, and relaxed. Did I mention just sitting and watching the waves roll in over and over? At one point the tide was so low and the water so blue that I thought for sure I was sitting on my childhood beach at ELWA in Liberia, West Africa. Close but not exactly the same:) So the trip ended very well and I am so thankful for what God showed me and rest He gave me.
We returned home Tuesday night to the real world. I have to tell you that sometimes I think God has quite the sense of humor. Shortly after returning, I heard from Eva, who has been taking care of the house in my absence, that while I was gone there were a couple of problems. The first, and in my opinion by far the worst, was that a family of cockroaches has taken up permanent residence in a rotten board under the kitchen sink. That grosses me out beyond description! It will be an aim of my life to eradicate them from the premises!! (I had similar strong reactions to the fire ants while I lived in Texas). The second thing was that when it rained last week there was a leak in one of the bedrooms and adjoining bathroom. I am thinking that this is just horrible and what on earth will we do. But when Lee heard it he said “just one room? That is great!” Perspective is everything:) You probably thought from my last email that I was all moved in before I left for vacation. Well when we got to the house we were unable to move all that we thought we could because of some logistical problems. (Not to mention we ran out of time before leaving for the beach the next day). At the end of the driveway, the city has been working on the drainage ditch and at the time we were trying to move there was a ditch of about 4-5 feet wide and several feet deep separating the driveway from the road. The workers had put a piece of wood about 18 inches wide across the ditch for us to cross on. Thoughtful but not all that reassuring. With just me on the board walking across it, it sagged most precariously. We didn’t even try it with Lee and a refrigerator! OSHA wasn’t around:) Actually I found it so humorous I could hardly function for laughing. Ah the joys of living in Africa. You either have to laugh or cry. As for me, I am going to try and laugh as often as possible. So needless to say, I am still living at Lee and Michelle’s. They know very well the difficulties of adjusting to a new culture and setting up a home, while trying to learn a new job. Their patience and graciousness has meant so much to me. As a matter of fact, they are helping me to find a reasonable pace for adjusting and working. My expectations were way too high. I am thankful for their wisdom and insight. Our focus together right now is to get the house in order and get me settled there. You would be surprised at how long it takes to find a simple mattress! So far three days. It is just going to take awhile to get the house together. Lee has told me that my job duties will be doled out in pieces over several months. A few weeks ago I thought that was ridiculous. Last week I realized that that was the nicest thing he could have said to me!
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