Dean and I met dancing and we enjoy it so much. We had a dance floor in the tent that was decent enough size to really enjoy it. Our "first" dance started with a typical slow song, but then we broke into a fast two-step and then finished with a west coast swing. It was fantastic!! That man can lead and dance so well. I hope we are dancing together until we need walkers! :)













Just us enjoying each other and the day. Thanking God for how He works and moves when we least expect it.

Of course you all remember my roomie in Ghana, Margaret. I was thrilled beyond belief that she drove all the way from Mississippi to come to the wedding. I hadn't seen her in a year and almost knocked her flat with the hug! She's as wonderful and beautiful as ever.














My dad got to marry us. That was incredibly special. Dean's pastor also took part and gave the charge and the message.

The Newlyweds

I thought I would post just a couple of pictures from our wedding. It was a wonderful day and a very special ceremony. We had a blast at the reception dancing, talking and watching my niece and nephews tear up the floor. :) It was a very small wedding and that made it intimate and special. We are in Wisconsin now and still working on getting our home set up and organized. So much stuff!! Perfect opportunity to pare down. :) We enjoyed a few days of honeymoon at Lake Geneva in Wisconsin. It was so beautiful with the fall colors. I love that place.

Well I just wanted to give you a little snapshot of our special day. I will put more pictures on facebook at some point and maybe some more here for those of you not on facebook. Blessings.

Goin to the chapel and we're gonna get married.....

Well pretty much everything is in place and ready for action on Saturday. The truly big unknown and uncontrollable factor is the weather. Sigh... doesn't look good right now but I am praying that the weather predictor people are wrong as usual just in the right direction! :) My dress is so pretty but it isn't for cold weather. But we have backup plans so all will be well. Dean is moved into our apartment in Wisconsin and it is mostly organized. We will have a bit to do when we get up there next week. It will be nice to finish it together. Big transition on the way! I hope that as Dean and I settle into life together that I will have the time...and the desire... to write again. We'll see what happens. I will be looking for at least a part-time job and that should be interesting in this economic climate. But I am happy to say that God is not controlled by our economy and He will provide what is needed, when it is needed. Now to hold onto that if the search stretches out for some time. :)

I imagine I won't write again until after the wedding so until then.... blessings to you all.

How often did I write from Ghana about holding opposing emotions in tandem? Quite a bit I imagine. Well here I am again... needing to do the same thing. I am overwhelmed with grief, I guess it is, at moving from my home town and my parent's home and at the same time I am excited to make a life and home with Dean. I can't wait for these next two weeks to pass quickly and yet I know that I am going to be homesick despite just being 2 hours from home. Between all this, planning the wedding, family issues, daily life and packing I have to say that I am quite exhausted in mind, body and soul. Emotions hover near the surface. I really just need to sit down and have a good cry but don't have the time or want to exert the energy. Sigh. It will happen and it will be a good thing but not now. I think what I am longing for is some semblance of being settled. It seems that ever since about 2003-2004 I have been moving, living in limbo, dealing with a major life change. I find it rather tiring. And yet wonderful things have happened along the way as they always do b/c God doesn't just leave us wallowing. I look forward to being a wife and homemaker. Shocking in this day and age but there it is. I will need to work part-time at least and that is fine but mostly I want to be his wife, his partner and grow together. The weight of marriage is more clearly defined for me as of late. It isn't just about us being together and being happy and enjoying life. It is a representation of the union of Christ and the Church and there is weight and responsibility that comes with that. In the midst of the joy and companionship and love we are to be a testimony to the Lord and reflect His relationship with us as part of the Church. There is a somberness mingled with the joy and anticipation.

Am I babbling?? Little bit I think. See my mind is cluttered with so much stuff - details, decisions, to-do lists, etc. and so it is hard to truly parse out all that is going on. Hmmmm perhaps some time away from the planning and the moving next week is greatly needed. That sounds like a good stress reliever. A nice sunny day, some beautiful spot in Creation and space to rest and restore. I'll work that in.

Meeting Dean

The wedding is just a few short weeks away. Yippeee and oh my!! I am very excited to become Dean's wife and stressed out about all the details of the wedding and moving to Wisconsin at the same time. I was under the delusion that a small, simple wedding wouldn't be too difficult to put together or too stressful. Silly me!! No matter the size of the wedding there are still all the same decisions to make and details to attend to... BUT I am thrilled to be planning this day and very grateful for all the help I am receiving from Dean, my mom and my dear friends, Jo and Brenda. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all the details but that is starting to subside as things are moving into place.

I had no idea that I would be getting married a year and a few months after returning from Ghana. As a matter of fact I if you had asked me back then if I would meet a guy and contemplate marriage, I would have given you an emphatic NO! But things in life change quickly and God seemed to have other plans for me. Don't get me wrong I hoped one day that I would be able to marry again and have the godly, loving marriage I always dreamed of but I had laid that dream down before the Lord and wanted His will alone for my life. I was sure when I did that back in Ghana that I would be single for a long time if not for the rest of my life. Through some ups and downs - even before I left Ghana - God moved me where He wanted me and crossed my path with a wonderful man who loves the Lord dearly.

For those of you who still read this I will share with you how Dean and I met. He tells it so well that I hope I can do it justice. I'll start back a bit before we met. Dean lives about 2 hours from the bar/saloon where we dance and met. He was coming down consistently hoping to meet a woman who enjoyed dancing and wanted a long-term relationship. He was not a believer at this time. A woman caught his eye and he began getting to know her. As they talked over time the conversations became more about God, the Bible and religion in general. At one point she gave him a Bible and told him to read it and it would change his life within two weeks. She said "you will either accept Jesus or reject Him". Dean took the Bible, the first one he had ever owned or read for himself, and starting reading Matthew and John. As he was driving down the road one day, he cried out to the Lord and knew that all he needed was God's love. When Dean gives his testimony he says that a peace washed over him that he had never experienced before and he knew he was a changed man. He shared the good news with the woman who gave him the Bible and my friend, Jo, who he also knew from the dance place. This was back in April of 2008. Dean found a solid church in his home town in Wisconsin and was baptized there in September of 2008. I met him some time in August or September last year. Neither of us knows the exact day or week. Dean said that he was getting tired of driving so far to dance and was ready to give up when Jo told him that her friend who had just gotten back from the mission field was going to come next weekend to dance. As Dean tells it when Jo said that "she is a believer" he decided it was worth another trip down to meet this woman. He says that he had been praying that if God wanted him to meet someone He would have to make it very obvious and drop her in his lap. So we met the next week when I went dancing. Jo wasn't trying to set us up, she was just introducing me to all her friends there. Dean and I danced and talked for a few weeks as I recall and then one night he asked if I would go to dinner or a movie with him. I was pretty straight forward and since I wasn't super interested in dating at that time (there was so much going on in my life) I said "it depends on what your intentions are". I give him credit b/c he didn't turn and run for the hills. These days when he tells the story he says that if he had thought quick enough he would have said that if he was going to marry me some day he would need my phone number. Guess he was taken with me early on. His intentions at that time were to get to know me. So we went out on our first "date" and talked for about 4 hours or so. Needless to say it was very good. B/c he is on the road for his job - he drives a semi- and we live so far apart, most of our relationship for the first several months was by phone. Thank goodness we both had the same cellphone carrier!! We both think the distance was a good thing b/c it required us to talk and learn to communicate well right from the beginning. It took me some time to work through some trust issues and deal with other things going on within me but Dean has been a strong and steady man through it all. I am often amazed at the gift God has given me in him. Now he does drive me crazy at times but most of the time we truly enjoy each other and there is much smiling and laughter. He is quiet at first but very intelligent and deep. He is highly mechanical, can fly an airplane, plays guitar, has a nice singing voice, enjoys NASCAR and racing in general, of course is an excellent dancer for the two-step, etc. and he loves the Lord and reading His word. We have deep, meaningful conversations and then turn around and act like we are 12. It is great fun. We have conflict and work through it, we have differences and are learning to appreciate them. He is kind to me and so very thoughtful. I thank the Lord often for blessing me with Dean. It is not b/c of anything I have done or that I deserve such a good man, but it is by God's grace and goodness alone that I have this gift. I look forward to building a life with him and pray that we are as crazy about each other in 20 years as we are today.

Well sorry if this is too sappy for some of you but other inquiring minds want to know. :)

Oh dear the posts are getting further and further apart. Either I am busy or just not in a writing frame of mind or.... It is probably some of both and other things. I find it hard to write now that I am in the states as compared to when I was in Ghana. So many things were different and interesting there - it was easy to write. But here where most everything is known and comfortable it is much harder to write. There is a lot going on internally but at this time it is too deep and personal to share on a public domain. So I find myself apologizing again for the lack of communication on this front. Updating on facebook is so much easier, isn't it? :)

I will let those of you who are still checking this blog know that I am engaged. Yep... may be hard to believe but it is true. I met a guy last Aug/Sept and we have spent the last 11 months or so getting to know each other. We became "serious" and intentional back in Jan. His name is Dean and I love to tell people that he picked me up in a bar b/c he did!! We both do country dancing and I met him through a mutual friend at the local place where we dance. He is a fantastic 2-stepper and a great lead. Well he can do most any couples country dance and do it well. I love dancing with him. We have a lot in common and the most important thing is that he loves the Lord with all his heart. He is a good, honest, kind man and I am blown away that God crossed our paths. He proposed just about 2 weeks ago and we will be having a small, intimate wedding in Oct. I'll be moving to WI where he now lives once we are married.

So I am sure that is another reason I haven't been writing as much. Well this is just the briefest of updates but at least it is something. I'll try to be better at keeping up!! Blessings.

Wow it has been so very long since I have actually written something meaningful. I don't know that I will break that pattern now but you never know. All I can say is that there is a great amount of internal work going on with me and it is rather raw and painful at this time so it is pretty hard to write about. The last few months have been good in many ways and filled with anxiety and struggle at the same time. I still don't see the direction that my life is to take at this point and that is quite difficult... and yet it is ok. God is at work - in me and around me even if I don't see it clearly. I have been exhorted by two dear friends to focus on two truths concerning the Lord. The first is that God is enough. No matter what I face, what I have lost, what I need... God is enough! The second is that God is good. Again no matter what life and circumstances might be suggesting... God is good! These are the themes that keep coming around in my life. I used to think that I was a slow learner and just wasn't getting it... and maybe in some ways that is true. But I also see how each time the same lesson comes around that it goes a little deeper, another layer of the onion is taken off. This isn't fun. It is painful and frustrating and tiring but in the end it is worth it. Some times I don't want to talk to God at all or read His word or write about anything b/c I am resisting His work or running away or just plain ignoring Him. I don't recommend any of these as they prolong the process. God loves me... and you ... too much to let us wallow in sin and chains that He wants to free us from. Would I like for Him to just break the chains once and for all and not have to deal with it again?? Absolutely!! But we all know that then in my humanness that still torments me, I would not turn to Him in desperation as I do now. I would not cling to Him through the struggle and the pain but would just go on my merry way. I'd like to think that wouldn't be true but I look at my life and the lives of others and it is the way it is. We humans are so prone to wanting to be in control and do for ourselves that when all seems well in our lives we are perfectly happy to let it ride and keep God in the periphery. It is when something painful and tragic happens that we stop for a moment to see what is going on, to hear Him and to finally acknowledge that He wants more than our scraps. So here I am in a rather strange phase of life... working through deep heart issues with Him, wanting to move forward but needing Him to break chains so that I can be free to do so. And oh I want freedom so badly. There is purpose in the struggle. I am finally reminding myself of that. There is purpose in the wrestling. Intimacy with God is there and that is what I long for most of all. It is just my human self wants it to be easy but that is not how it works in a fallen world. For now I cling to the truths that have been brought to my attention... God is enough and God is good. May they both be imbedded on my heart in a new, deeper way so that my mind and life can be transformed for His glory.

Utterly abandoned to the Holy Ghost!
Seeking all His fulness at whatever cost;
Cutting all the shore-lines, launching in the deep
Of His might power - strong to save and keep.

Utterly abandoned to the Holy Ghost!
Oh! the sinking, sinking, until self is lost!
Until the emptied vessel lies broken at His feet;
Waiting till His filling shall make the work complete.

Utterly abandoned to the will of God;
Seeking for no other path than my Master trod;
Leaving ease and pleasure, making Him my choice,
Waiting for His guidance, listening for His voice.

Utterly abandoned! no will of my own;
For time and for eternity, His, and His alone;
All my plans and purposes lost in His sweet will,
Having nothing, yet in Him all things possessing still.

Utterly abandoned! 'tis so sweet to be
Captive in His bonds of love, yet so wondrous free;
Free from sin's entanglements, free from doubt and fear,
Free from every worry, burden, grief or care.

Utterly abandoned! oh, the rest is sweet,
As I tarry, waiting, at His blessed feet;
Waiting for the coming of the Guest divine,
Who my inmost being shall perfectly refine.

Lo! He comes and fills me, Holy Spirit sweet!
I, in Him am satisfied! I, in Him complete!
And the light within my soul shall nevermore grow dim
While I keep my covenant- abandoned unto Him!

Author Unknown

I am sure the few of you who still check my blog have realized that I am not writing that much on it anymore. That trend will probably continue. It isn't that there aren't things going in my life. It is just that most of the things are either too boring or too personal to write about. Not to mention that currently my passion for writing appears to be on sabbatical. I am not sure why but that is the way it is. I hope you aren't too disappointed. I'd be surprised if anyone really is but there may be one or two. Thank you for continuing to check to see if I am writing. Perhaps in the near future something will be burning on my soul that I just have to share with you. Right now life is quiet and most of the work being done is internally - between me and the Lord. Good stuff but I guess I am not ready to share at this time. If I get to that point, I will put it on here. If you want to continue corresponding with me, leave me a comment on this note. God bless and thank you for your interest!

"In the pathway of faith we come to learn that the Lord's thoughts are not our thoughts, nor His ways our ways. Both in the physical and spiritual realm, great pressure means great power! Although circumstances may bring us into the place of death, that need not spell disaster- for if we trust in the Lord and wait patiently, that simply provides the occasion for the display of His almighty power. "Remember his marvelous works that he hath done; his wonders and the judgments of his mouth" (Ps. 105:5) Mrs. Charles E. Cowman, Streams in the Desert.

"In the wilderness shall waters break out, and streams in the desert". (Is. 35:6)

Here's to patiently waiting for the Lord to display His Almighty power in 2009. Happy New Year!