I have been sick in bed the last few days but finally today I am mostly in the upright position although still rather weak. It is one of those days where I am too well to be in bed all day but too sick to be of much good. Strange stage of healing but one I always go through. So because I am a bit better I decided to look at the DVD that my mom took of the family this past Christmas. It is really nice. I am amazed at how big my niece and nephews have gotten. That is one of the hard things of being away - missing them growing up and not being there to see it. Not seeing the piano recitals, the football and baseball games, etc. It isn't easy to miss 3 years of their lives. But I am thankful for modern technology and for a mother who loves computers and putting together DVDs so that I can see the changes. One of the special moments was hearing my dad read Luke 2 as he does every year. At our house here in Ghana I had one of my friends read it for me and it was nice but it wasn't my dad. It is one of the few Christmas traditions in our family and I will try to keep it each year that I am here.
It was a lot of fun to see on the DVD when the kids opened the gifts from me that my parents had carried back. Lots of red, green and yellow in the house that day. My one nephew Oliver just loves flags and it was great to see him waving the Ghana flag for all he was worth. He would have done well at the Africa Cup of Nations. (Ghana has won all three games played so far. Go Black Stars.)
This stage of getting better gives me time to think and reflect which is good to a point. The morning started off not so good as I was missing home, evaluating friendships and relationships, pondering on why God sent me to Ghana and if I am doing all he wants me to, etc. etc. Surprisingly watching the video helped to give me perspective. I don't know how exactly but maybe it was the reminder that even though I am not there, I am not forgotten. Hearing my name mentioned, hearing the kids say "thank you Aunt Suzanne" and knowing that the video was being made primarily with me in mind seemed to really ease the pangs of being away. You might be surprised to know how easy it is for me to think that I am forgotten. A tool of the devil I believe to get me down and focused on the wrong thing but it does happen. It is nice to have email, skype, cell phones, etc. to keep me connected with those I cherish but there is someone more important who never forgets me and that is where I need to keep my focus. I am reminded of a couple of verse in Deuteronomy that I used in my prayer letters way back when I first knew I was going to Ghana but I haven't looked at them in awhile. Watching the DVD was a good reminder.
Deuteronomy 31:6, 8: "Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you." "And the Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear, or be dismayed."
I must remember that the Lord cannot fail or forsake me. I am His child and He is always with me. Even when I am missing home or am feeling forgotten or am feeling alone, He never forgets me and is always with me. He is the only one who can do that and never fail. Thank you Lord for always being with me. You are Emmanuel - God with us.
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